“I don’t want you hurt either,” he murmured, “but I have, right?”
She nodded. ”But so’ve I,” she admitted quietly, feeling herself fading off to sleep against him and fighting it, wanting to make absolute sure that he knew what she was trying to say.
“You’ve hurt yourself?” Ferdinand asked her, confused. “What do you mean? You’re happy, aren’t you?” he asked, reaching out to cup her cheek, stroking it with his thumb.
“Mhm,” she agreed, nodding slightly against him. ”Yeah,” she breathed out, too groggy to say much more for the moment.
“Let’s just talk about it later, alright?” he asked with a little laugh. “Just sleep now,” he whispered.
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“I know,” she murmured back. ”Neither could I.” She sighed against him, her eyelids heavy. ”I still don’t want you hurt.”
“I don’t want you hurt either,” he murmured, “but I have, right?”
She nodded. ”But so’ve I,” she admitted quietly, feeling herself fading off to sleep against him and fighting it, wanting to make absolute sure that he knew what she was trying to say.
“You’ve hurt yourself?” Ferdinand asked her, confused. “What do you mean? You’re happy, aren’t you?” he asked, reaching out to cup her cheek, stroking it with his thumb.
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She closed her eyes and nestled herself against him. She felt peaceful; she’d forgotten how nice it was to sleep beside him. ”I’m sorry,” she breathed out quietly. ”For whenever you do remember, just know that I never wanted you hurt.”
“You know that I could never hate you, right?” he whispered, turning his head to look down at her. “I mean, no matter what you’ve done that I don’t remember…”
“I know,” she murmured back. ”Neither could I.” She sighed against him, her eyelids heavy. ”I still don’t want you hurt.”
“I don’t want you hurt either,” he murmured, “but I have, right?”
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Ferdinand smiled and wrapped an arm around her, turning his head to kiss the top of her head gently. “Just go when you need to go,” he said softly. “I was considering a nap anyway. Nothing the fuck else to do around here.”
She closed her eyes and nestled herself against him. She felt peaceful; she’d forgotten how nice it was to sleep beside him. ”I’m sorry,” she breathed out quietly. ”For whenever you do remember, just know that I never wanted you hurt.”
“You know that I could never hate you, right?” he whispered, turning his head to look down at her. “I mean, no matter what you’ve done that I don’t remember…”
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She glared up at him for a moment. ”I know that. I just wish you and Mason had a more eloquent way of saying it,” she sighed. ”I’m just really tired, okay? Imagine if I was sick, too, I’d look half alive.”
“If you were sick, I’d be fucking worried,” he said, moving to lay down on his back again. “Come here. If you’re tired,” he prompted. “Come here.”
She paused a moment and then rose slowly, sitting down on the edge of his bed. ”I can’t stay long,” she said quietly, casting an eye over at the clock. She figured it wouldn’t really matter. At this point, she’d pretty much lost faith in sleeping longer than a few minutes to an hour. She swung her legs up gently on the bed and lay down beside him, resting her head against his shoulder.
Ferdinand smiled and wrapped an arm around her, turning his head to kiss the top of her head gently. “Just go when you need to go,” he said softly. “I was considering a nap anyway. Nothing the fuck else to do around here.”
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He shifted on the bed, scooting over to the side farthest from her. “It’s okay,” he told her, his tone soft, forgiving. “I was pissed off the first day or so, but I got over it,” he shrugged, shooting her a crooked smile. “You look like fucking shit, by the way,” he reached up with his free hand, running his thumb gently across one of the bags under her eyes.
She glared up at him for a moment. ”I know that. I just wish you and Mason had a more eloquent way of saying it,” she sighed. ”I’m just really tired, okay? Imagine if I was sick, too, I’d look half alive.”
“If you were sick, I’d be fucking worried,” he said, moving to lay down on his back again. “Come here. If you’re tired,” he prompted. “Come here.”
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As Ferdinand watched her, his expression slowly fell. He clenched his jaw and looked away from her. “Don’t, okay?” he whispered. “Just don’t tell me what you have to tell me.” He knew whatever it was, he wasn’t going to like. Besides, from how Minerva had sounded…Sam had been his last hope. Now, knowing that she was going to tell him exactly what Minerva had told him, he found that he didn’t want to hear it. He couldn’t hear it. “Just be here, alright?”
She hesitated a moment and then nodded, running her thumb across his knuckles gently. ”Okay,” she said quietly. She fell silent then, just sitting with him, wondering if he wanted to talk, or not talk. It was strange, she usually knew what was on his mind. Then again, so did he. After a while, she broke the silence. ”I’m sorry it took me so long to come by.”
He shifted on the bed, scooting over to the side farthest from her. “It’s okay,” he told her, his tone soft, forgiving. “I was pissed off the first day or so, but I got over it,” he shrugged, shooting her a crooked smile. “You look like fucking shit, by the way,” he reached up with his free hand, running his thumb gently across one of the bags under her eyes.
(Source: samzabini-deactivated, via samzabini-deactivated)
